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You Know You're Trailer Trash If...

  • The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

  • You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

  • You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

  • You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

  • Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

  • You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

  • Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this!"

  • You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

  • Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

  • Your junior prom had a daycare.

  • You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

  • You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

  • The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

  • You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

  • One of your kids was born on a pool table.

  • You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

  • You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

  • You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.