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The Online Knowledge Magazine

Stock Market Week in Review

It's been a rocky week for the Stock Market. Here's a summary:

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Ticonderoga Pencils lost a few points. Though Elevators rose, escalators continued their slow decline.

Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. The market for raisins dried up. Pampers remained unchanged.

Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Birds Eye Peas Split. Stanley Tools filed for Chapter 11 and Scott Tissues touched a new bottom.